Femme/Feminine Essentials: what exactly are they? And why do they matter?
I first heard of ”feminine essentials” from a work colleague some years ago. This terminology was a world away from ”women’s things,” the shy termininology I muttered at the blushing age of fifteen on a rural towns high school orchestra tour, to the elderly male bus driver who demanded to know my reason for wanting to get back onto the locked bus when everyone else was inside the hall tuning up. Despite having a friend with me, I couldn’t bear to state the bleedin’ obvious.
Now I see that the term ‘feminine essentials’ has a broader application.
As a member of the Femerati, with a doubtless biased opine-yon, I have decided to set sail (without help from real sailors) upon a M.O.G.I. (no, not a cat, rather a Mission of Great Importance) which explores the feminine-gendered kind. Obviously it’s of some small concern that the ‘femme’ reference may go down a G.G.R. (Grossly Girly Route), so I’ve boiled it down:
To Discover: What Are the Top 100 Feminine Essentials? And why.
Rules, Disclaimers, and Other Procrastivatory[sic] Bollux: the following is not an experiment in E.S. (Exact Science). Probably because I don’t possess a white coat. True, it has an objective (reverting to high school biology here, rather than the more dramatic GOAL which has been seconded by motivational types), and something of Methodology, and it is possible that a conclusion or set of conclusions may be drawn from Evemadence[sic]… ooh, just notice a girly inscrimination[sic] there.
I invite you to think outside social stereotypes. So please avoid the following, unless you can offer a particularly feminist reading upon your selection:
- Cosmetic surgery (for purely vain concerns of perfectly fine-looking persons)
- Other socio-gendered crap
This experiment is not for the fainthearted, the lazy, or the J.I.I.T.R.T.R.G.B. (Just in It To Read The Good Bits). Au contraire, I offer you, the reader, the marvellous opportunity to contribute your own wild and fabulous examples of evidence which I will publish after a very long time into the future.
And when the list of Feminine Essentials Reaches 100.
Thus, to begin with, a suggestion of my own, which one hopes you shall find charming and entrancing.
FEMMESENTIALS – An Abbreviated Lisssssst
1. Firm Foundation Garments: what a Berlei-ooody load of gender-political bollocks. Did Boadicea wear a brassiere? Whilst cooking upon a brazier? In brazen times of old…
The greatest women in history were very often triumphant with the firm foundations of strength of character, bbbbraaaaains, and spunk. That’s Australian for good looking, and for guts. Boadicea had better things to do than hitch her herself into an iron cage before hoisting herself upon her trusty steed. Did Boadicea’s horse wear a bra? No. And I’m sure that Napoleon’s didn’t bother either.
What say you are feminine essentials? And why?